I’m so sorry you went through that, what a crummy friend! I had some friends that were the same way and still to this day talk about their “family” of friends. I really hope your family has found some new friends that can support you as much as you support them.

Finally, after his summer cavorting was done, I thought we’d get together for a night out, just for a couple of beers and conversation like we used to. He canceled on me twice now, and this second time, it was clear that his new group of friends was much more interesting. I knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

And the final gut-punch is that he still exhorts the “great to have friends that are like family” cliche. But I’m no longer part of it. When he canceled on me that last time, I kept a sunny disposition and said “okay, maybe next time.”

I know there won’t be a next time, because I’m tired of trying to make arrangements with my wife (and bless her for her understanding and willingness, as I try to return the favor), only to have those plans fall through. Maybe it’s because my weeknights when I’m not in class for my graduate program are consumed with caring for the kids, or maybe it’s because I can only go out during the lunch hours on weekends and when the kids are in bed by 8:30, my wife and I are wiped out by 9:00.

But we’ve drifted apart, and I no longer have a role in his new circle of friends. It was a sign when I made an off-hand comment (of a type that we used to make all the time) that he and his friends took too seriously and collectively jumped down my throat for it.

All of that combined has made for a painful reality check that my friend has moved on and I’m no longer an important part of his life.